Pumpkin has been taking some swim lessons the past few weeks & let me tell you…. It’s been a roller coaster! One moment, she’s loving it & excitedly telling me to watch her. The next moment she’s screaming, crying & clutching onto her swim instructor for dear life & begging to be able to get out of the pool. The next moment she still doesn’t want to do her lesson, but wants to swim and play with the other kids in the hot tub.
All. Over. The. Place.
And friend? Can I just say how hard it is as a mama to watch her go through all those emotions?? It’s painful!
What’s makes it even harder for me as I sit there sweating by the side of the pool & trying to cheer her on & tell her it’s ok… is that I see myself in that pool.
I see myself on the roller coaster of emotions that comes with building a business while raising a family.
One moment, I’m on top of the world feeling confident in serving my clients. Feeling proud for giving my girls an example of hard work & chasing dreams. Feeling excited about booking dream clients for projects I’m excited about.
The next moment, I’m doubting myself. I’m beating myself up for spending too much time in “mom mode” & neglecting my business to-do list, or beating myself up for pouring time into knocking things off my list & not spending enough focused time with the girls.
The next moment I’m determined to fight through the low season & come back stronger than ever – both as a mom and as a photographer.
It’s exhausting, y’all!
But the thing is? It’s worth it. Pumpkin will keep putting in the work in the pool (work that sometimes looks and feels like play), and she will eventually be a confident swimmer able to go out on her own – even in the deep end.
And you know what? I will too. I will keep putting in the work as a mom and as a photographer (which less often looks and feels like play), and I will come out on the other side with so many lessons learned & knowing that I poured into my family & I poured into my clients’ lives. And I’ll be a more confident woman in each of the roles in my life – even in the deep end.
If Pumpkin and I can do it, so can you, friend. We’ll see you in the deep end.
There’s lots more honesty & encouragement like this over on Instagram – if you aren’t already following along, I’d love to have you in my little corner of the ‘gram! Come follow along & be sure to say hi!