It’s been a while since I’ve been able to photograph a full shoot. And not necessarily by my choice.

Earlier in our pregnancy we got news that there was a complication that meant restricted activity. No exercise. No picking up Peanut. And clearly, no hauling photo gear and running around in the heat for shoots. I squeaked out Quinn’s newborn photos (thanks to the help of Jason hauling the baskets/blankets/my photo bag in and out of the house for me – THANK YOU, JASON!), but that was about it.

Other shoots had to be rescheduled (more thank you’s go out here to my AMAZING clients who were so kind and supportive about this), and inquiries had to be declined. And it was worth it to be sure I was doing all that I could to keep our little girl safe and sound for as long as possible.

But to be honest, y’all, it sucked too.

Because I miss it. I know that I won’t be shooting for a few weeks after having the new baby, and that’s ok. But the combination of limited activity for weeks/months prior to that point just makes for a long time without shooting. Without working with my clients. And I miss it. I miss them.  I miss getting to be a part of those life moments – the big and the little.

I’m so happy to say that our God is good and has answered our prayers for the complication to resolve itself! So thankful for His provision for us & for His healing. And I’m so so so thankful for all of the prayers that were sent up on our behalf – including those coming from clients who knew of our situation.

But I’m honestly still having a hard time with so much time out from my photography. Sure, it’s been a good break to be able to just go to sleep at a decent hour (or at least try to sleep lately) rather than being up late editing after everyone’s gone to bed, but I miss it.

Photography is such a big part of me and it’s been hard to take such a step back from it. It has felt like there’s this big part of me that’s been missing. I’ve been trying to work on other photo-related projects to fill the void, but working with clients and facilitating the portrait experience from beginning to end is like that phantom limb. It’s there in my mind, but in reality it’s gone.

 

I’m trying to take what I can from this season that has been orchestrated for me. I’m trying to take the slower time to rest and to learn. I’m trying to remember that the weeks will go by quickly, and I’ll be back soon enough. I’m trying to make the most of this and be at peace with it, but I’m sure squeezing in one more shoot before the baby arrives will help a little bit too!

 

So here’s to phantom limbs, trying to embrace slow seasons (wanted or unwanted), and to answered prayers!