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Dear Peanut, Mommyhood, Personal

March 18, 2014

Dear Peanut – 7 months

Sweet girl,

Another month has flown by and you’re getting bigger than ever.

There are moments when I watch you playing on the floor in your room and babbling to yourself. Peanut, you look so grown up and I love you so much that it almost hurts.

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You have grown out of your infant car seat, and love to devour vegetables and your cereal. You often giggle through mouthfuls and flash a sweet messy grin at me or your daddy. You still aren’t quite crawling yet, but you’re getting closer and closer each day. And on top of that, you take the cutest little uncoordinated steps when we help you stand up. I am so not ready for that yet! Your personality comes out more and more and I just cherish being able to see the girl you are becoming.

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You don’t always appreciate the solo play time I mentioned earlier though… This month you have taken crying when we set you down or walk away to a whole new level. Like always, it breaks my heart to hear you cry. I wish that my whole day could simply be filled with you. I wish there wasn’t laundry to do, or dogs to let out, or dishes to do, or beds to make, or phone calls to answer. But, little one, that’s life. And as much as I wish I didn’t have those things to do, they mean that life is being lived in our house. And that’s ok. I hate hearing your cry (or scream) when I have to step away for a minute, but selfishly, part of my relishes the fact that you want me near you. I know there will probably come a day when you would rather me just drop you off a block away from school rather than walking you in. There will come a day when you don’t need me like you do now. So while I may be at wits end wishing you wouldn’t cry while I take care of the evidence of a life lived in our house, I just try to remind myself that those screams are the “I love you” you can’t yet say.

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  1. Jan Rodine

    March 18th, 2014 at 10:41 am

    I love this post!! I love the photos as well. I can relate as I just spent the week with her while letting go of the “mess” around me so I could enjoy her. I miss you both! (And Max too!!)

  2. Megan Walker

    March 18th, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    Girl you’re breaking my heart! You write so well, I love your “Peanut” posts.

  3. bmariephoto

    March 19th, 2014 at 8:29 am

    Thank you, Megan!!

  4. Jen

    March 20th, 2014 at 8:20 am

    Heart officially melted. Your baby is so beautiful and I feel your maternal emotion when I read this. It took me right back to when my daughter was just starting to toddle (she’s 9 now, and she doesn’t want me to drop her off around the block yet). I am so glad I came by from The Walker Fireside Chats.

  5. bmariephoto

    March 20th, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Jen, thank you so much! I’m glad you haven’t faced the “drop off” moment yet…. Let’s just decide together that neither of us ever will deal with that particular hurdle. Power in numbers, right?

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